


when you look at me

by glittermerm



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 00:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17234288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glittermerm/pseuds/glittermerm
Summary: Chanwoo’s straight. At least he’s pretty sure he’s straight.





	when you look at me

Chanwoo’s straight. At least he’s pretty sure he’s straight. He’s always been attracted to girls. He’s never really thought about guys. Well, except maybe that one time he tried to kiss Jinhwan when he was drunk. The thought of that still makes him flush red. Though, he’s sometimes not sure if it was the action of the rejection that makes it such an embarrassing memory. 

He’s seen Jinhwan in women’s clothes before, seen all of the members in women’s clothes before. But it’s never affected him this way before. They’re filming their MV, and Chanwoo is supposed to be doing… something. He can’t focus. From the second Jinhwan had walked in, all dolled up, it was like his mind took a leave of absence. He’s standing in the corner, probably staring, but he can’t help himself. 

He feels a sudden flare of jealousy when Jinhwan wraps his legs around Yunhyeong, and when they pretend kiss, it feels like his stomach has fallen out of his body. He excuses himself from the room, and goes outside to mope. Jinhwan finds him awhile later, mostly returned to his masculine form. Chanwoo can see bits of mascara still clinging to his lashes, and there’s still some color on his plump lips. 

“You okay?” Jinhwan asks. “I saw you run out of there but I couldn’t come check on you,” he says.

“I know,” Chanwoo says. “You were busy with Yunhyeong.”

Jinhwan laughs. “You make it sound like I wanted to be doing that,” he says, punching Chanwoo lightly on the arm, before wrapping his arm around Chanwoo. “So what’s wrong?”

Chanwoo shrugs the arm off, and Jinhwan frowns. “Just don’t feel good,” he mumbles.

Jinhwan’s hand is suddenly on his forehead. “You don’t feel warm, but you should go lay down for a little while anyway.”

Chanwoo shrugs Jinhwan’s arm off. “Don’t treat me like a baby,” he snaps, standing up.

Jinhwan looks up at him, startled. “Chanwoo, I wasn’t trying to,” he says.

“Whatever,” Chanwoo says informally, huffing as he storms away.

He spends his next few days avoiding Jinhwan, going so far as to cling to a confused Junhoe during practice so he doesn’t have to talk to the other.

It can’t last forever though. Jinhwan eventually corners him in his room, sneaking in when Chanwoo is distracted with his games. Chanwoo doesn’t notice until his monitor suddenly goes blank. “What the fuck,” he shouts, jumping and falling out of his chair when he sees Jinhwan standing there, holding the power cord to his computer.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he snaps, grabbing the cord back, and plugging his computer back in.

“Getting answers,” Jinhwan replies calmly, advancing on Chanwoo. “Why are you avoiding me?” he asks, cornering Chanwoo, who avoids his gaze.

“I’m not,” Chanwoo grumbles.

“Oh really?” Jinhwan asks. “Because I’ve got five guys out there confused on why you’re being so clingy when I’m the one you normally come to.”

“Not everything is about you,” Chanwoo snaps. “I’m allowed to spend time with other people.”

“And completely ignore me? I think not,” Jinhwan snaps back. “Now you can tell me what’s going on, or we can stay here until we die.” Jinhwan says, pushing Chanwoo to sit in his chair. “Now why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

Chanwoo crosses his arms and chews on the inside of his cheek, determined to wait Jinhwan out. But, Jinhwan just stands there, staring at him silently. And Chanwoo can begin to feel Jinhwan’s feelings, the hurt, the confusion. And it’s not fair.

“Jinani,” he says with a sigh.

“What is it Chanu,” Jinhwan encourages, tipping Chanwoo’s face to look at him.

“I think…” he starts, but stops shaking his head.

“Tell me,” Jinhwan says, and his voice is so soft and concerned, Chanwoo thinks he might cry. But he bites his lip again.

“I think I have feelings for you,” he blurts out, before quickly clapping a hand over his mouth.

Jinhwan steps back in surprise. “Oh,” is all he says at first. He can see Chanwoo’s gaze shutting off, and he quickly keeps going. “Why?”

“What do you mean why?” Chanwoo snaps, feeling vulnerable. “Look at you,” he says, gesturing vaguely.

“Okay,” Jinhwan says, trying a different approach. “And you realized this sometime last week and that’s why you’ve been ignoring me?”

Chanwoo nods.

“Wanna explain that a little more?” Jinhwan asks, feeling frustrated. 

“It was during the music video shoot,” Chanwoo say quietly. “You looked so pretty dressed up like that, and the way Yunhyeong was touching you,” he trails off.

“So you liked me when I looked like a girl, is that it?” Jinhwan asks, feeling inexplicably disappointed. 

“No!” Chanwoo exclaims. “Well yes, but that’s not that simple. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone touching you like that.”

Jinhwan reaches out tentatively, placing his hand on Chanwoo’s knee. “You know we were both acting right?”

“I know!” Chanwoo says. “But I want to hold you like that instead of him.”

Jinhwan straightens up. “That’s all you had to say.” He pushes Chanwoo back into the chair and crawls into his lap. 

Chanwoo’s lips purse. “You’re not going to reject me?”

Jinhwan sighs. “What are you talking about?”

“My birthday,” Chanwoo says, unintentionally pouting.

“Chanwoo, I wasn’t going to have our first kiss when you were piss drunk.”

“Wait you mean, you wanted to kiss me?” Chanwoo asks, shocked.

“For ages,” Jinhwan confirms. “I was just waiting for you to get your shit together.”

“Can I have that kiss now?” Chanwoo asks.

Jinhwan laughs, but leans in, slotting their lips together. Chanwoo’s fingers wrap in Jinhwan’s tshirt, holding him close as they kiss again and again. Jinhwan sucks on Chanwoo’s bottom lip, and he nibbles at his, causing Chanwoo to gasp into the kiss. He takes the advantage to lick into Chanwoo’s mouth, causing the younger to whine, and pull Jinhwan closer. He clings to the other for dear life as they kiss.

Eventually they have to break apart. Chanwoo pants as Jinhwan rests their foreheads together. 

“Well?” Jinhwan asks.

“Can we do that again?” Chanwoo responds.

Jinhwan laughs. “Yeah, yeah we can,” he says, leaning back in.

**Author's Note:**

> this is for my chanhwan nation i love you
> 
> find me on twitter @chanwo00


End file.
